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LLTO Wednesday WAG: Elisabeth Reyes (11/25)

The Beauty: Elisabeth Reyes is the most enigmatic WAG. What do I mean? Well, no one really knows much about her, other than the fact she is – in fact – a WAG. Well, we do know she’s a beauty queen, as she was named Miss Spain. And, of course, she is a model. But, other than that, no one knows anything about her. As for her past, I say “why do we need to know?” I could care less. All I care about is her future, especially her maple syrup covered future.

The Beast: Elisabeth snagged herself Sergio Ramos. Ramos is a great player for Spain and Real Madrid. But, he is also extremely insane. How so? Well, he loves flamenco music for one. Secondly, he has an imaginary friend named Stadler. Finally, he has a tattoo to remind him of the 9/11 and Madrid terrorist attacks. Obviously, he’s damaged goods. But, he is a fine player, with more than 50 caps for Spain and nearly 200 appearances in La Liga. Ms. Reyes is his best trophy though. 

The Bard: Elisabeth’s elite look deserves an epic poem, but I am no Homer (doh!): 

Elisabeth Reyes is a television actress, lingerie model, and total beauty queen.

She’s gorgeous gal who has quite a body of talent, if you know what I mean.

Many of her suitors have exclaimed with delight that this baby has much back.

They have showered her with classy compliments in order to get her in the sack.

But she would not submit, instead saving herself for the man they call “Gypsy”.

He didn’t need “beer goggles” to find her attractive, in fact, he wasn’t even tipsy.